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Thrillist Miami Wednesday April 8, 2009
The List

Dress Up: Beacher's Madhouse Tonight, 10pm, LIV, Fontainebleau Hotel, 4441 Collins Ave, Miami Beach; 305.674.4680 Warily observe a madhouse of dudes on stilts, circus performers, hotties, and little people from acts like Tiny Kiss (dwarves doing Kiss covers), Mini Britney (same idea), and a Mini Boy Band, all while winning bottles/drink tickets in audience contests like karaoke and the embarrassingly apt “I Kissed A Girl Orgasm Contest”. Show up in your own costume to skip the line and get free admission -- but how are you supposed to look all tiny, on such short notice? For a preview of the madness go to BeachersMadhouse.com. RSVP to: Party@LIVnightclub.com

Look/Drink: Gen Art Miami Fashionscape Tues April 14, 10pm to 12am, Delano Hotel, 1685 Collins Ave, Side Entrance on 17th St, South Beach; 305.672.2000 Muscle up to a two-hour Grey Goose open bar and free reign of the Delano's orchard and pool area, where local designers will be using music, lighting, and professionally pretty girls to stage vignettes that let you “get an up close and personal view of the designer's vision”, and give you no firmer grasp on what the hell vignette means. For tix and info on VIP access go to GenArt.org or call 305.695.8200

Dominate: Spring Sushi Showdown Tues April 14, 6 to 9pm, RA Sushi; 5829 SW 73rd St., Miami; 305.341.0092 Stuff your face with sushi for a chance to win...more sushi ($600 worth); for the first two rounds, it's eating two uncut Tootsy Maki rolls the fastest, after which a “Final Six” will advance, with the champ consuming as many rolls as possible in two minutes. Non-participants still get half off Tootsy and Cali rolls, plus $3 beers and $5 spiked punch; once people see how lustily you're drinking it, they'll assume you're trying to win...more spiked punch. RA is reserving 15 spots for Thrillist readers (today only): print the application and drop it off with your $10 at the resto.

Bloody Mess: Sunday Bloody Sunday Sundays, 11:30am to 5:30pm, 8 Oz Burger Bar: 1080 Alton Rd, South Beach; 305.397.8246 $20 lets you craft your own endless Bloodies, with either top shelf vodka or (gasp!) tequila. After the 'tender pours your booze, go crazy on an ingredients buffet including house Bloody mix, Clamato, V8, Beefamato, Tabasco, Worcestershire, wasabi powder, and horseradish, as well as classic solids like celery and funky ones like shrimp, oysters, jalapenos, cornichons, okra, salami sticks, hard-boiled eggs, pickled asparagus, and pickled green beans -- work the system like a man, and you'll be sharing an adjective with dem beans. For the life-sustaining menu to go with your Bloodies hit up 8OzBurgerBar.com

Buy: Project LX Closing Sale While it lasts, 5818 Sunset Dr, Miami; 305.661.6620 LX is taking 25% off all jeans, including Rock and Republic, AG, Union, and William Rast, and 50% off an array of Havaianas flip flops, polos from Lacoste, and tees from Wet Cement and Dirtee Hollywood, whose shirts boast slogans like “Welcome to Hel LA”, “Swagger Alert”, and “My Life, Your Entertainment”, but if that claim were true, why isn't your mute button working?